Update on My Back

My surgery date was May 20th for the discectomy. The surgery worked out really great for a couple of months, until it didn't. I started having a really hard time walking without a lot of pain and I just knew something was up.

At my post op check up, we talked about it and they scheduled a dye test MRI. Basically it's a dye they inject into an IV and it helps enhance the magnetic resonance image. It was a simple procedure, it didn't hurt at all - then again I was on Valium... The results came back and showed that I had injured the exact place I had surgery one. L4/L5. The disc is pressing on the nerve worse than before.

Luckily for me, my friend bought me some CBD gummies to try. (CBD is the non psychoactive part of marijuana, it stands for cannabidiol.) CBD has been an amazing answer for me. I can get through the day and do chores, cook and walk short distances while I have it in my system. I pair it with ibuprofen and I feel almost normal. Unfortunately it is very expensive! It will hold me over before the next step in my back recovery journey.

My surgeon has scheduled a spinal fusion on L4/L5. What they do is join the two vertebrae together essentially. They remove disc, bone and ligament; and put a metal cage around the bone and put some screws in. I have to wear a brace for two months and take it easy, but hopefully this will be the right choice in my healing and I can get my life back for a while! I am nervous about this surgery, I won't lie, but I don't know what other option I have. I can't keep going on like this. I am starting to adapt, but I miss my old able bodied life. I am only 35, I deserve to have the best life I can have for myself and for my son.

I will keep everyone posted of my progress. My surgery is November 5th. I will be staying in the hospital at least two days. I am not too bummed out about that, because I really do love the food at the hospital. I must be a weirdo. My boyfriend is going to take care of the dogs and our apartment while I'm there. My ex husband and his wife will be taking our son for a couple of weeks to give me some time to heal and rest. I have been really blessed with the people around me this year while I have been in pain and unable to take care of myself like I used to. My friends will again come over and help me out with my dogs, help take care of me and feed me, and keep me company.

After the recovery of my back surgery I hope to enjoy the holidays a bit! I am excited that I will get to celebrate Halloween before I have surgery!

Thank you for reading about my healing journey! I plan to come back and blog about much more after I recover! Stay tuned, and until then, please enjoy this picture of me from the pumpkin patch yesterday!

So, What's Up With Your Back???

I decided to write a blog about what is wrong with my back and all of the steps I have taken to try to get better; as well as the steps I will be taking very soon. I know it's been a long year hearing about all of the stuff going on with me, and it's been a really long year for me dealing with this. One of the hardest I've had to face. This has definitely been the hardest year for me physically - which kind of scares me since I had a child! You'd think that was worse... But I digress... I will try to explain to the best of my abilities what's been happening to me.

It started much sooner than I can actually go into much detail about, since I've had back issues since I was in high school. But, I will give a short summary. I was born with Scoliosis in my lower back. Scoliosis is a curvature of the spine. Mine is luckily not an extreme case, but having anything off kilter can affect your body. Here is an example of Scoliosis types, mine would be Lumbar.

I was also born with Hip Dysplasia. Hip Dysplasia is when a baby is born with a hip socket that does not fully cover the ball portion of the upper thigh bone. This can cause the hip joint to become partially or completely dislocated.

I had to wear a brace that went over my shoulders and held my legs into a froggy postion.

It probably didn't help that I carried a much too heavy back pack and refused to use my locker in high school. I had some physical therapy back then and went years and years without worrying much. I had some other issues here and there through my twenties, but mostly was able to "fix" the problem with some muscle relaxers and Vicodin pain killers. Usually my back would be out just a few days and I would be back in business.

Jump forward to 2017 and I had started having a lot of back pain again. I started up physical therapy to do some core, back and hip strengthening exercises to get my body back into shape and reduce pain. It was all gong very well so towards the end of summer I stopped going and decided to try to maintain my physical health at home with stretches, yoga and other simple exercises. Not long later I started having a lot of pains again, sometime mid 2018. I contacted my doctor and she decided to send me to the pain clinic because I have a lot of issues that cause pain including Fibromyalgia, Hypermobility Syndrome and my back issues. I also started going back to physical therapy.

This all started out with burning, shooting, throbbing pain in my lower left side. I was having a hard time sitting due to the pain and had to put billows in my lower back area to sit just about anywhere. The pain clinic had some ideas. We did Lidocaine trigger point injections in my back. Let me tell you, I felt fantastic after these shots. I went out to dinner afterwards and thought that this was the answer, I was healed! Not so fast, I woke up the next morning with my right hip jotted out, but I still felt okay. I just looked really strange.

Quickly after that, even though most of my back pain was gone, it all moved down my left side from my lower back into the top of my Glutes and my left hip. I was much more miserable than the back pain now. I could hardly walk, my pain was extreme. My hip felt like it was on fire, I would move wrong and it would pull and I was gasp and it would destroy me on the spot. I spent a lot of time frustrated and crying because I was in so much pain and so helpless. The pain clinic got me in again and diagnosed me with Trocanteric Hip Bursitis; which is an inflammation of the bursae (a fluid filled sac near your joint) on the outside of the hip.

I had never had that kind of pain before and it was so intense I could hardly get in and out of bed, I couldn't bend down, I couldn't cook a meal, take the dogs out, hardly sit on the toilet, could not shower or dress myself. I was in misery and spent almost all of my life in my bed. This was months of my life. I watched so much Netflix, which was cool at first, but the novelty wore off and I really missed my mobility. I started to get very depressed, and gained weight. The weight gain was partly my fault. I did not change my diet and couldn't exercise. I was indulging in food when it was brought to me and it was mostly fast food since I couldn't cook. I ordered Grub Hub when I could.

The pain clinic had some new treatment ideas for my Bursitis, which quickly started involving a lot of Sciatica down my whole left Glutes, leg and foot too. Sciatica is when there is pressure on your Sciatic nerve, which is the large nerve that runs from your back down each leg, and it causes radiating pain.

They wanted to try to give me a Cortisone injection in my hip. I said, "Yes, of course. Anything that you can do to help, do it." All of these procedures so far, were in office, easy peasy no big deal procedures. We did the injection and they said it may take a few days but I should instantly feel some relief. I felt nothing. It did nothing. Days later, nothing. I was very upset.

They had a new idea... They sent me in to get an MRI of my back to see if there was another condition causing all of this. "Finally", I thought. Waited a bit and got the results back and come to find out, I have an annular tear in my spine in L4/L5, bulging and herniated discs. This is what is pushing on my nerve block and causing the Sciatica. I also have mild Degenerative Disc Disease, but that is not terribly abnormal for any aging human being.

So again, I go back to the pain clinic. They suggest I try a Steroid Epidural Spinal injection at the surgery center. Of course I said yes, set it up, and went in after a night of fasting to the surgery center. In the prep area they noticed that my heart beat was irregular, but with some heart monitoring they decided they could still proceed with my procedure. They sedated me and when I woke up, I did feel a little better. Again, after a few days I would know more on how well it worked, and over a few weeks even more so.

I am so glad I got this done, because it did help me so much. I am still sideways and still have a lot of pain, but I am no longer crying myself to sleep over searing leg pain. My Sciatica pain is now more of a pins and needles most of the time. I still have bouts of pain but am more functional. The thing is, I am not well and my body is still so sideways. I have to modify everything I do and limit time I do things. If I go enjoy myself I suffer at night and it takes me hours to get my body to calm down enough to sleep. It is exhausting. Sometimes I have to celebrate my small victories, like yay, I showered and got dressed! I did tell the pain clinic that it didn't work as well as expected and I needed to recover more than this.

I got referred to a back surgeon for further steps and got another Torodol injection to tide me over for a few days. I had gone to the urgent care center so many times to get that little shot, I had taken so many over the counter drugs and tried patches and heating pads, ice. I was just ready for some relief. In between all of this I had tried pool therapy, Chiropractic care, Acupuncture and cupping... I tried everything that was offered to me.

Fast forward all of the way to today and tomorrow is the day, the day that I see the back surgeon and see what she can do. I have another hurdle next week to make sure my heart is okay before I can proceed with any surgery. Just getting to this point and the hope that things will be better is a big step. I had gone through waves of denial, despair and then a new wave of hope (which is where I still am). I just want to get better. I may have missed some steps, jumbled things or messed up my time line slightly, but it's been one blur of a year. Cross your fingers things go well the next couple of weeks. I know a back surgery is big and I'll have new hurdles, but if I can go back to more normalcy - I will be so happy. I would love to go on walks, do yoga, take my dog out, walk to the bus stop even! It's very humbling to have to rely on people and even at times a wheel chair when you are used to walking and doing what you need to do. Your whole life changes.

Thank you to everyone that spent time to read this and try to understand what I've been going through. Thank you to everyone that has helped me in one way or another. You all know who you are! Please feel free to ask questions and comment on this blog. I am very open about what is going on and would love to hear anything you have to say! Words of encouragement also appreciated!

*Pictures used to show a visual representation of what I was referring to have all been found using a Google image search and are intended for educational use only, I do not own these photos in any way.

The M&M's Order Arrived!!!

So here is the update on the M&M's order that I placed in January, in time for a wonderful Valentine's day surprise! Shipping time was as expected, and the packaging was done really well. I regret not taking photos of the packaging to share with you all, but I was so excited to see the goodies that I didn't take a picture! Oops!

I ordered two things. I ordered a small heart shaped tin of M&M's where I got to pick out what colors I wanted inside, and I ordered a larger size of heart shaped tin with personalized colors AS WELL as clip art! Now this is the really fun part about the personalized candy... Not only can you add clip art that they have as stock photos you can pick out - but you can upload YOUR OWN!!!

Here is the cute small heart shaped tin with a candy peaking window I got for my 5 year old son, Hank. I chose two shades of blue and green for him, because he enjoys those colors.

I ordered my boyfriend Jordan the larger tin and I stuck with more traditional sappy Valentine's day colors for him with a little extra color pop. Pink, silver and teal!

His candy features one of our first pictures together when we fell in love. The picture is of us in a hammock in the back yard. I was honestly surprised at how well this photo converted to a tiny little candy piece of art! Check out the the text too! You can add your own words to your candy!

Here is a copy of the photograph I uploaded to the M&M's website to put on the piece of candy, so you can see how well the detail transferred over.

While it was a pricey gift to order, it was really fun and you definitely get what you pay for. The candy was absolutely overflowing from the tins! I ate several of the candies on my own to get the lid to stay shut. It also really lasted a long time, the tins don't seem very large but the candy just keeps going and going. We were eating it by the handful when we walked by and it lasted more than a week! And since it was Valentine's day and I felt kind of crafty after creating these candies, I decided to take the "Old School" route and make a construction paper Valentine card to go with it.

In conclusion, YES, YES, YES! I would recommend ordering from the M&M's page! They have so many great gifts ready to go! From football games to baby showers and birthdays, or these fun do it yourself treats!

I'm back!

I have not been writing for a while, but I want to come back and start again!

I have been lucky enough to get selected to try out personalized M&M's from the M&M website! I just placed my order today! The ordering process was very easy. You can select an event like birthday, foot ball party, baby shower or in this case, Valentine's day! They let you pick out the colors you would like your candy to be, up to three different colors! You also have the option to add text and there's actually a pretty generous amount of room to write! Now this is the cool part, not only can you add clip art that they have available, which are just little pictures like hearts, stars or verbage in fancy fonts - but you are able to upload your own photographs! Real photos! I uploaded a romantic moment that my boyfriend and I photographed this summer! I cannot wait to see how these turn out! I will be posting more when my package arrives along with many pictures!

Check out the site for yourself!

MAKE YOUR OWN M&M'S NOW!!!

Reach Dental Floss Has Been Rebranded!

You read that right! Johnson and Johnson's Reach dental floss has been rebranded! It has been renamed to Johnson and Johnson's Listerine Ultra Clean dental floss. With this change, I was able to sample a container of Listerine Ultra Clean dental floss in mint flavor for free from Crowdtap and the Listerine crew!

The new packaging was super easy to open and has minimal waste, which I think is important. The piece of thin plastic you peal off I had to toss, but the rest I could recycle. The new container is an interesting shape and is transparent.

The flavor I had was mint, and it is a pretty light blue color. The wax looks a bit wide, very flat, but works wonderfully! It does not shred at all. I was able to do my entire mouth with only a small amount of floss. The dental floss smells great and tastes good too. It leaves your breath smelling good and leaves a minty feel to your mouth. I really liked this floss and it did a great job. I will be buying this floss again. Lately I had been using flossers because I thought tehy were easier, but I had no problem with this Listerine Ultra Clean floss.

Brushing alone only cleans up to 25% of your mouth. Flossing is important to get between your teeth to help prevent gingivitis and keep your teeth healthy and your breath smelling fresh. A good oral hygiene routine consists of brushing, flossing and rinsing with mouth wash.

The tampon that nobody talks about, but everyone should!

Being a woman comes with responsibility. Like your period. You can't avoid it, it comes every month and you're stuck with it. It happens to almost every woman, and we shouldn't be embarrassed to talk about it! So I applied to do a product sampling with Crowdtap for o.b. Pro Comfort tampons in regular and I was selected! I got to try these for free with a review of their products.

They sent a few 18 count boxes; one for me and two for friends, and two cute little discreet carrying cases!

I used to use o.b. tampons when I was in high school. I've always liked how they were so small and discreet and they are easier to control without the applicator. They are also less wasteful to the environment. I don't know why I quit buying o.b., but with this sampling I was reminded on how great of a tampon they are and will be switching back from my Kotex U!

These o.b. Pro Comfort tampons have "silk touch". A smooth cover for easier insertion and for extra comfort and protection. They really do have that silky touch and are very comfortable to insert and to wear. You don't even know you're wearing them and they are very absorbent. The tampons are very very tiny, easy to hide in your hand or in small pockets.

The little carrying case they sent me is super cute and a great way to protect your tampons and keep them discreet and easy to find in your bag, purse or pocket!

I will be using o.b. pro comfort tampons from now on!

Want to know what is really scary this Halloween?

So you want to know what is really scary? When your little one's diapers are sagging to the floor! I was sent a few Pampers Cruisers to review for free, from Influenster and Pampers! I have always loved the smell of Pampers, a light baby powder scent. Which is funny, because I usually don't like scented products or baby powder smell. There's something about Pampers and baby Dreft soap that really gets me!

These Pampers Cruisers diapers are so adorable with their Seasame Street character designs! These diapers have design printed on the entire diaper!

Pampers Cruisers have extra absorb channels to help distribute wetness evenly and they can help keep your little ones diaper dry for up to 12 hours!

I think Pampers Cruisers are a great diaper for my toddler, they smell great and look super cute and don't leak! They don't sag and are so soft. Pampers has a great points program that you can redeem for wonderful rewards too!