I decided to write a blog about what is wrong with my back and all of the steps I have taken to try to get better; as well as the steps I will be taking very soon. I know it's been a long year hearing about all of the stuff going on with me, and it's been a really long year for me dealing with this. One of the hardest I've had to face. This has definitely been the hardest year for me physically - which kind of scares me since I had a child! You'd think that was worse... But I digress... I will try to explain to the best of my abilities what's been happening to me.
It started much sooner than I can actually go into much detail about, since I've had back issues since I was in high school. But, I will give a short summary. I was born with Scoliosis in my lower back. Scoliosis is a curvature of the spine. Mine is luckily not an extreme case, but having anything off kilter can affect your body. Here is an example of Scoliosis types, mine would be Lumbar.
I was also born with Hip Dysplasia. Hip Dysplasia is when a baby is born with a hip socket that does not fully cover the ball portion of the upper thigh bone. This can cause the hip joint to become partially or completely dislocated.
I had to wear a brace that went over my shoulders and held my legs into a froggy postion.
It probably didn't help that I carried a much too heavy back pack and refused to use my locker in high school. I had some physical therapy back then and went years and years without worrying much. I had some other issues here and there through my twenties, but mostly was able to "fix" the problem with some muscle relaxers and Vicodin pain killers. Usually my back would be out just a few days and I would be back in business.
Jump forward to 2017 and I had started having a lot of back pain again. I started up physical therapy to do some core, back and hip strengthening exercises to get my body back into shape and reduce pain. It was all gong very well so towards the end of summer I stopped going and decided to try to maintain my physical health at home with stretches, yoga and other simple exercises. Not long later I started having a lot of pains again, sometime mid 2018. I contacted my doctor and she decided to send me to the pain clinic because I have a lot of issues that cause pain including Fibromyalgia, Hypermobility Syndrome and my back issues. I also started going back to physical therapy.
This all started out with burning, shooting, throbbing pain in my lower left side. I was having a hard time sitting due to the pain and had to put billows in my lower back area to sit just about anywhere. The pain clinic had some ideas. We did Lidocaine trigger point injections in my back. Let me tell you, I felt fantastic after these shots. I went out to dinner afterwards and thought that this was the answer, I was healed! Not so fast, I woke up the next morning with my right hip jotted out, but I still felt okay. I just looked really strange.
Quickly after that, even though most of my back pain was gone, it all moved down my left side from my lower back into the top of my Glutes and my left hip. I was much more miserable than the back pain now. I could hardly walk, my pain was extreme. My hip felt like it was on fire, I would move wrong and it would pull and I was gasp and it would destroy me on the spot. I spent a lot of time frustrated and crying because I was in so much pain and so helpless. The pain clinic got me in again and diagnosed me with Trocanteric Hip Bursitis; which is an inflammation of the bursae (a fluid filled sac near your joint) on the outside of the hip.
I had never had that kind of pain before and it was so intense I could hardly get in and out of bed, I couldn't bend down, I couldn't cook a meal, take the dogs out, hardly sit on the toilet, could not shower or dress myself. I was in misery and spent almost all of my life in my bed. This was months of my life. I watched so much Netflix, which was cool at first, but the novelty wore off and I really missed my mobility. I started to get very depressed, and gained weight. The weight gain was partly my fault. I did not change my diet and couldn't exercise. I was indulging in food when it was brought to me and it was mostly fast food since I couldn't cook. I ordered Grub Hub when I could.
The pain clinic had some new treatment ideas for my Bursitis, which quickly started involving a lot of Sciatica down my whole left Glutes, leg and foot too. Sciatica is when there is pressure on your Sciatic nerve, which is the large nerve that runs from your back down each leg, and it causes radiating pain.
They wanted to try to give me a Cortisone injection in my hip. I said, "Yes, of course. Anything that you can do to help, do it." All of these procedures so far, were in office, easy peasy no big deal procedures. We did the injection and they said it may take a few days but I should instantly feel some relief. I felt nothing. It did nothing. Days later, nothing. I was very upset.
They had a new idea... They sent me in to get an MRI of my back to see if there was another condition causing all of this. "Finally", I thought. Waited a bit and got the results back and come to find out, I have an annular tear in my spine in L4/L5, bulging and herniated discs. This is what is pushing on my nerve block and causing the Sciatica. I also have mild Degenerative Disc Disease, but that is not terribly abnormal for any aging human being.
So again, I go back to the pain clinic. They suggest I try a Steroid Epidural Spinal injection at the surgery center. Of course I said yes, set it up, and went in after a night of fasting to the surgery center. In the prep area they noticed that my heart beat was irregular, but with some heart monitoring they decided they could still proceed with my procedure. They sedated me and when I woke up, I did feel a little better. Again, after a few days I would know more on how well it worked, and over a few weeks even more so.
I am so glad I got this done, because it did help me so much. I am still sideways and still have a lot of pain, but I am no longer crying myself to sleep over searing leg pain. My Sciatica pain is now more of a pins and needles most of the time. I still have bouts of pain but am more functional. The thing is, I am not well and my body is still so sideways. I have to modify everything I do and limit time I do things. If I go enjoy myself I suffer at night and it takes me hours to get my body to calm down enough to sleep. It is exhausting. Sometimes I have to celebrate my small victories, like yay, I showered and got dressed! I did tell the pain clinic that it didn't work as well as expected and I needed to recover more than this.
I got referred to a back surgeon for further steps and got another Torodol injection to tide me over for a few days. I had gone to the urgent care center so many times to get that little shot, I had taken so many over the counter drugs and tried patches and heating pads, ice. I was just ready for some relief. In between all of this I had tried pool therapy, Chiropractic care, Acupuncture and cupping... I tried everything that was offered to me.
Fast forward all of the way to today and tomorrow is the day, the day that I see the back surgeon and see what she can do. I have another hurdle next week to make sure my heart is okay before I can proceed with any surgery. Just getting to this point and the hope that things will be better is a big step. I had gone through waves of denial, despair and then a new wave of hope (which is where I still am). I just want to get better. I may have missed some steps, jumbled things or messed up my time line slightly, but it's been one blur of a year. Cross your fingers things go well the next couple of weeks. I know a back surgery is big and I'll have new hurdles, but if I can go back to more normalcy - I will be so happy. I would love to go on walks, do yoga, take my dog out, walk to the bus stop even! It's very humbling to have to rely on people and even at times a wheel chair when you are used to walking and doing what you need to do. Your whole life changes.
Thank you to everyone that spent time to read this and try to understand what I've been going through. Thank you to everyone that has helped me in one way or another. You all know who you are! Please feel free to ask questions and comment on this blog. I am very open about what is going on and would love to hear anything you have to say! Words of encouragement also appreciated!
*Pictures used to show a visual representation of what I was referring to have all been found using a Google image search and are intended for educational use only, I do not own these photos in any way.
